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Peer Pressure: The Silent Shaper
Author: Bhavya Kapur
“I knew it didn’t feel right, but I didn’t want to be the only one who said no”.
It’s a sentence I’ve heard countless times from teenagers sitting across from me in my counselling room. And every time, I’m reminded of just how loud, and invisible, peer pressure can be during adolescence.
Growing up is a confusing process. It's a time when identity is still under construction, when friendships feel like lifelines, and when acceptance from peers can feel more urgent than breathing. And in the middle of all this emotional noise, peer pressure - subtle or direct - can shape choices in powerful ways.
When we hear “peer pressure,” we often think of teens being coaxed into drinking, smoking, or breaking rules. But it’s not always that dramatic or loud. Sometimes, it’s a look, a group chat, an inside joke you’re not a part of or laughing at a joke that doesn’t feel right, pretending not to care about marks when deep down, they really do! As a teen, the cost of exclusion can feel unbearable.
It shows up in silence, in small betrayals of self, and in the fear of being left out. It’s not always malicious - most teens are simply trying to belong. But in their quest for connection, they can lose pieces of themselves.
Developmentally, adolescence is a time of intense social sensitivity. The teenage brain is wired to value peer approval highly. Add to that a developing sense of identity and self-esteem that’s still shaky, and you have a perfect storm. Teens are figuring out who they are - but in the presence of peers, the question often becomes: “Who do I need to be to fit in or stay included?”
That’s why we see even confident kids sometimes making choices they later regret. Their need for connection temporarily outweighs their inner compass.
According to the surveys conducted by leading Indian research institutions 82% of Indian youths experience peer pressure in some form. Notably, 68% of young Indians admitted to making career choices based on peer pressure. This pressure extends to risky behaviours, as 75% of adolescents have experimented with alcohol due to peer influence, as per data from the Ministry of Skill Development and Entrepreneurship in 2022. Peer pressure exerts a significant influence, with a staggering 85% of high school students acknowledging its impact. Remarkably, 28% of those succumbing to peer pressure find themselves enjoying improved social status, underscoring the complex dynamics at play in the world of peer interactions.
These figures highlight that peer influence is not a rare or occasional occurrence - it is a daily reality for most adolescents in India.
While some teens will openly talk about the pressures they face, many keep it to themselves - either out of fear of judgment or because they’re not fully aware of the influence. As adults, we can learn to read the quieter signals. Subtle shifts in behaviour, mood, and social patterns often speak volumes about what’s happening beneath the surface. Signs a teen might be experiencing peer pressure could include, but are not limited to, sudden changes in clothing, language, or interests that don’t match their usual style; withdrawing from family or old friends; secrecy about activities or social plans; reluctance to share opinions; mood swings after time with certain peers; taking unusual risks; or expressing discomfort but still going along with group decisions.
So, what can we do - as educators, caregivers, mentors?
Peer pressure isn’t a villain. It’s a signal - that a young person wants to belong, to be seen, to feel safe in their social world. Our job is to guide them back to themselves. To show them that true belonging never requires self-abandonment.
And if you’re reading this as a teen, remember this: You don’t have to shrink or stretch yourself to fit in. You are enough, exactly as you are. The right people - the ones who see you, respect you, and walk with you - will never ask you to lose yourself to keep them.
From Playtime to Provocative: How Early Sexualization Affects Kids
Author: Tamara Nausheen
When my 10 year old first told me about ‘crushes’ the girls in her class were having, I was surprised. Admittedly I had been expecting it since most of her friends outside school are slightly older than her and also come from let’s say, differently ‘monitored’ backgrounds, but at the same time I felt a pang to hear my baby girl talk about ‘types’, or ‘drama’ and ‘looks’.
My little girl who was, until last year a tomboy, climbing trees and watching creepy crawlies fascinated and didn’t care if she was burnt to a crisp in the sun recently asked me what a skincare routine was!!! While this is all still normal and innocent, the fact that ‘growing up’ was happening at such an accelerated pace startled me.
So what is creating this environment for our children? While developmentally sexualisation is normal the question is are we growing our children up too fast, and more importantly what does this look like in today’s media-saturated world?
Children are exposed to age-inappropriate and sexualized content at increasingly younger ages. This includes the imposition of adult sexual norms, expectations, or imagery on children before they are developmentally ready. This phenomenon affects both girls and boys, though it often manifests differently across genders and can have lasting psychological consequences.
Sexualization becomes harmful when a child's value is narrowly defined by sexual appeal or behavior, when physical attractiveness is equated with worth, or when sexuality is imposed inappropriately. A comprehensive report by the American Psychological Association (APA, 2007) highlighted that children’s media from music videos and advertising to toys and social media often present distorted messages about sex and body image. Girls are especially vulnerable, frequently portrayed as objects of desire or encouraged to appear "sexy" rather than smart, strong, or kind. Boys, meanwhile, are often exposed to messages that associate masculinity with dominance and emotional detachment, and may also feel pressure to “perform” sexually at a young age.
The psychological toll of early sexualization can be profound. For girls, studies have linked sexualization with body dissatisfaction, low self-esteem, eating disorders, depression, and anxiety. Boys may experience confusion about masculinity, emotional suppression, and risk-taking behavior to conform to sexual expectations. Both genders can develop distorted views of relationships, consent, and personal boundaries. Furthermore, sexualized environments may increase the risk of early sexual activity, exploitation, and sexual abuse.
Children who internalize these messages often struggle with forming a healthy sense of identity. Instead of focusing on interests, creativity, or friendships, they may become preoccupied with their appearance or sexuality, impacting emotional development and academic performance.
But before we blame the social media for this there other influencing factors to consider.
Parents and caregivers play a crucial role in mitigating the effects of early sexualization. Here’s how they can help:
So after I had recovered from my initial shock, I began to have regular and consistent conversations with my daughter. No topic was off bounds, but responses were age appropriate. When she asked about periods (because so many of her friends talked about theirs), she was satisfied with a simple answer of ‘our bodies are changing for what is required at later stages in life’. Her eyes glazed over with boredom when I started explaining about linings of the uterus and we moved quickly onto creating a period kit that she could take to school.
When she asked why she couldn’t wear make-up or watch certain shows I explained the importance of rhythm (a concept she’s familiar with because of her Waldorf schooling), and a respect for the natural order and course of things. We can’t force a flower to fruit early, or like you took time to learn to play the piano you need time to other things in life. We also discussed about how there is a right time for everything and how just like she needs to wait a while to vote, she needs to wait for make-up or that just because Nana is old it doesn’t mean he can eat junk food!
As a family we talk about attributes that set each other apart, and are noteworthy. As parents we try and foster a narrative that will become their internal voice. We talk to our kids about kindness, generosity, empathy and also about creating boundaries and insisting others respect them. We also are careful about our behaviour, words and priorities. Do we slip up from time to time? Of course! But that’s ok too.
We know that early sexualization is a complex, deeply embedded cultural issue, but awareness and (hopefully) proactive parenting can make a significant difference.
I’m hoping that by fostering resilience, critical thinking and a steady internal narrative of positive self-worth that isn’t derived from appearances and what is on the outside in my daughter, I will be able to help her create safety and strength for herself and navigate a world that often asks them to grow up too fast.